In Autumn 2022 the Elderflowers were able to return to visit the ladies and gents in dementia care at Findlay House in Edinburgh. In this article Sheila Macdougall aka Dippsy Elderflower share her thoughts on special moments.
What a joy it was to walk back into Findlay House after an absence of a number of years! What a pleasure to stroll the corridors and to step into the lounge again – all familiar spaces, but on this occasion filled with a sense of newness and anticipation. On that first visit my partner, Hilde (Lily Elderflower), and I were greeted by Nurse Kirsty and Activities Coordinator Hannah. They were both grinning from ear to ear and their voices and bodies were full of excitement and enthusiasm as they told us how very happy they were to meet us and to have the Elderflowers back at Findlay House. Their energy was palpable as they gave us a handover and referrals for the day.
Our remit was to give priority to visiting ladies and gentlemen in their rooms as some of them had had few if any visitors during the pandemic and beyond. Lily and Dippsy swept along the corridors checking in on the ladies and gents, and introducing ourselves when appropriate as we went. The ladies and gentlemen could hear our voices and see us. This was the first step in building up relationships with the ladies and gentlemen.
At the doorway to one gentleman’s room we introduced ourselves and asked if we could come in. From his bed George (not his real name) turned toward us, opened his arms up wide, gave us a huge smile, and said in a loud, clear voice, “YES!” In we went to join him, our faces beaming and our bodies expansive, reflecting his enthusiasm. What a privilege to ride on and share his positive energy! We spent quite a long time with George admiring and commenting on the array of photos on the wall, watching a bit of telly (one of his favourite pastimes), laughing and commenting and gesturing along with him. At one point George gestured toward the door with a big grin. Dippsy followed his gesture and went out the door only to re-enter much to George’s amusement. Smiles and laughter filled the air. We played entrances and exits until George gestured back to the telly and we watched again enjoying sharing this moment with him. When it was time to leave, Lily and Dippsy thanked George for the wonderful time. When we asked him if we could come back to visit again he smiled widely and indicated yes. We all bid a fond farewell with lots of smiles, eye contact, big waves and blown kisses. Another step in relationship building had been made.
Later the same day, toward the end of the afternoon, we were invited by staff into the lounge where there were a number of ladies and gentlemen. We were already trusted by the staff to visit in this group situation. We met and greeted the ladies and gentlemen moving from one to another. More often than not we were met with smiles and eye contact. The staff enhanced our interactions by introducing the ladies and gents to us, and, in the case of one gentleman who is very hard of hearing, attempting to set up a sound booster so he could hear our voices. Lily and Dippsy sang and danced a wee bit moving through the space, and he along with others in the room watched with great interest. We eventually exited with waves and smiles. We could sense that the mood and atmosphere in the lounge had been lifted by our presence. This was a further step in building relationships on that first visit.
At the end of the day when we were writing up our notes in the office one of the staff members popped her head in to tell us how wonderful it was to have the Elderflowers back at Findlay House and how much she enjoyed observing our interactions with the ladies and gentlemen in the lounge.
On subsequent visits we have always been very graciously welcomed by all the staff. They are warm toward us, smiling and asking how we are; they have created an atmosphere that allows us to do our best work. We have observed that in quiet moments several staff members will just enjoy watching and listening to us for a few minutes, especially when there is music and dance involved in the common spaces. And on one recent occasion two staff members joined in dancing with Dippsy in time to Lily’s clarinet music. Dippsy and the two staff were spinning and twirling together much to the amusement of one gentleman who is often rather grumpy. At least for a brief moment he was smiling and thoroughly enjoying himself.
Visiting Findlay House on a weekly basis has been vital to building up relationships with the ladies and gentlemen as well as with the staff. It has been very important to be able to say to the ladies and gentlemen that we will be back the following Monday; we have established a routine and consistency. With each visit we learn more about each individual through our interactions and have been able to build on that information.
Sheila Macdougall
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